Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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