So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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