Umm I'm too high to move.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize