id be glad to
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
