Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
