My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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