Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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