i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
