i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
