marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
