Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
