Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize