I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
