he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize