i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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