So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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