She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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