wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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