I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
