ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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