I'm lost and stupid without you.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
