How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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