I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
