it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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