And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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