you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
