The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize