I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
