That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
