yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
