now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize