It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
