I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
ok first of all what the fuck
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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