My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
