cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I smell like Dick and happiness
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