Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
