Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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