I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
