I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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