I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize