So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
