Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
