I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Randomize
