I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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