Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
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The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are going to name an STD after you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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