help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
