So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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