i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize