Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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