Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
