I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
