Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize