Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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