So drunk its hurt
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just pee around me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
