omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
