If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
