just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
