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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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