someone get that fucking seahorse.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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