Cold hands, warm shart.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize