there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
