So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
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No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
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As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.