I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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