Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before