I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.