I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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