Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.

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  (732): he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/xvk7
  Replies (34) Good night (18162) Bad night (886)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.

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  (248): When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal. http://tfl.nu/vbhe
  Replies (24) Good night (7893) Bad night (1439)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.

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  (919): the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's. http://tfl.nu/kqcw
  Replies (10) Good night (4202) Bad night (924)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.

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  (952): Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home. http://tfl.nu/0k8h
  Replies (27) Good night (1556) Bad night (4048)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.

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  (505): He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way. http://tfl.nu/qq0o
  Replies (7) Good night (1292) Bad night (4757)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.

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  (215): so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15. http://tfl.nu/ngxx
  Replies (16) Good night (757) Bad night (2268)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me

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  (815): I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me http://tfl.nu/9tpu
  Replies (15) Good night (6299) Bad night (979)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever

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  (651): Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever http://tfl.nu/sex2
  Replies (6) Good night (997) Bad night (617)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off

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  (219): he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off http://tfl.nu/kmmo
  Replies (10) Good night (1255) Bad night (407)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.

  (845): View more from New York

  I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"

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  (845): I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home. (845): I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip" http://tfl.nu/e0kb
  Replies (7) Good night (1943) Bad night (409)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."

  (301): View more from Maryland

  That wasn't a compliment.

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  (202): She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal." (301): That wasn't a compliment. http://tfl.nu/gg7a
  Replies (14) Good night (720) Bad night (2223)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD

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  (973): SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD http://tfl.nu/vbpx
  Replies (2) Good night (466) Bad night (248)
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  (805): View more from California

  Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.

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  (805): Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch. http://tfl.nu/6qlc
  Replies (6) Good night (712) Bad night (287)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.

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  (256): It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration. http://tfl.nu/toyt
  Replies (0) Good night (891) Bad night (275)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".

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  (773): no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things". http://tfl.nu/laia
  Replies (0) Good night (403) Bad night (362)

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