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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate

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• (206): View more from Washington

  well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (631): View more from New York

  being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.

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• (408): View more from California

  By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint

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• (509): View more from Washington

  And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?

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• (518): View more from New York

  So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.

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• (310): View more from California

  I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.

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