C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma